I know that this blog is mainly about the girls and what all mess they are into, but I've had something on my mind and heart for awhile now, and this is pretty much the best (only) place to blurt it out. I just want to offer a little encouragement to my momma friends (and friends who aren't mommas) who may be in the same boat as I've been. We work so hard taking care of everyone around us, almost always at our own expense. Not that we mind~we love our people~but we are often the last ones who are taken care of. That needs to change. Easier said than done, I know. Let me just share a little of my heart with you, and please don't judge.
As some of you know, I've had a pretty major career change in the last couple of years. I hadn't realized how completely burned out and exhausted (mentally and physically) I had been until after I left my old job. I had an AMAZING first year of teaching and began to feel that burden that I had been carrying ease up. Towards the end of last summer, maybe because of my impending 35th birthday, I really started thinking a lot about getting older. Slowly, I came to the realization that if I didn't start taking better care of myself, I was going to be in a place I didn't want to be. So I started using night cream on my face and treated myself to a pedicure every now and then. Sounds dumb, I know, but this was the starting point.
It's no secret that I'm a big ol' girl. I have never liked being overweight, but I've never not liked it enough to do anything serious about it. I think I got to the point where I just resigned myself to being about this size for the rest of my life. Deep down, I think that I didn't believe that I actually could lose the weight and look/feel better. I'd tried various things here and there and nothing really did much good, so I got caught up in the let's just focus on everybody else and maybe nobody will notice that I'm still fat thing. Except I noticed. I always noticed. And probably you did, too, but were too nice to say anything. (Thanks.) Maybe it was "one day I woke up and realized" or maybe it happened a little bit at a time. Either way, I decided to start making some small changes. Drink more water. Cut out cokes. Cut down on portion sizes. Walking after work. Little things, nothing too major. Then early one Saturday morning, I was grading papers while watching TV and an exercise infomercial came on. Without thinking too hard, I bought it. (How crazy is that? I never do stuff like that!) When the box came in the mail, I read the book and got started. Figured I'd spent the money, might as well give it a shot and see what happens. And, lo and behold, stuff started happening. Not right away, and not without effort. Apparently, I'm not one of those people that the weight will just fall off of. Go figure. My fat must really love me, 'cause that stuff's hangin' on for dear life. But I started feeling better and became more determined to stick with it. I realized that just maybe I could actually lose the weight and not be embarrassed by how I look anymore. I don't want to be the momma that sits and watches my kids play all the time. I want to be running around with them without worrying that stuff is jiggling everywhere or that I'll get winded in 2 minutes. And that's another thing. Being the momma of 2 girls, I have to be thinking about the example that I'm showing them. I want them to have good self-esteem, to be healthy but not be constantly worried about their weight or appearance. It's hard being a girl these days, and getting tougher by the minute. They do what they see me do. If they see me playing on my phone, that's what they want to do. When they see me working out, then that's what they want do, too. (Their favorite part is the "cooldown" and Ab gives me a high-5 after every workout! I love my cheerleaders!) I can't teach them about being healthy if I'm not being healthy and taking care of myself.
It hasn't been easy. It hasn't always been fun. But I know that it's necessary for me to take better care of myself so that I can take better care of others. (Yes, that's cliche', but it's also true.) It has been an adjustment for our whole family. Instead of me coming in from work and plopping in the chair for a while, I immediately change into my workout clothes and get started. The girls know that they need to occupy themselves for a little while so Momma can get her "exasizes" done. I've also started getting up earlier in the morning, so that I can workout without taking any time away from my family. No, I don't always loooove getting out of bed at 4:30am, but I never regret it when I do. I just had to find what works for me AND STICK WITH IT. That's the main thing. I really believe that making up my mind was the hardest part. Now that it's a habit, it's much easier than it was when I started. If I know we'll be busy in the evening, I make sure to work out in the morning, I cook and prep my meals for the week on Sunday afternoons so that I have clean, healthy lunches for the whole week. We keep fruits and veggies for snacks. (I actually have to fight JuJu for the bananas.) I'm not saying that I eat perfectly all the time, or that I'll never have bacon again (let's be real, folks), I just had to learn to be smart about it, watch my portions and MOVE MY BUTT. I'm not saying any of this to brag or be all "Hey, look at me!". Cuz I ain't all that, y'all. I say it because if I can do it, anybody can. I didn't think I could. But I am. Yes, I have lost a little weight. No, I'm not done yet. If you want more info on what program I used, I'll be happy to tell you, but that's not the point of this post. I'm not trying to sell you anything except the belief that you CAN make a change in your life. It will require effort on your part and you may have to make some difficult changes, but it can absolutely be done. You will never have more time than you do right now. You will never be any younger than you are right now. It will never be any easier than it is right now. I know all the excuses, I've used them all myself. "I work full-time, have a husband and kids to take care of, no time, live in the woods and can't go to the gym, no babysitter, too tired, too fat, etc." It may all be true, but it's also bull. You have to make the time, the family will (eventually) understand, work out at home (I do), send the kids outside to play,etc. It's okay to do something for yourself. Where did we ever get the idea that taking care of ourselves is a bad thing?
Innnneeeway. I've rambled on for long enough. If you need encouragment or accountability, give me a call. I just think that maybe I'm not the only one of my friends/family who has had this struggle. It wasn't easy to throw all this out there, but if it may help someone else, then I don't mind to swallow my pride.
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